The Marriage Project

                   "Our marriage doesn't suck"
                                                 - Mark Gavin


It's 2012. I made some resolutions. Some I've started. Some I've already quit. Some I'm putting off for one more week. One thing I knew I wanted to do was continue my journey of becoming the Proverbs 31 woman.

One thing I've learned over the years of making and breaking resolutions is that they always last longer when you do them with a partner. What better partner to rope into something then.... my hubby!

Awhile back I had purchased a book called "The Marriage Project". I had it hidden away in a drawer waiting for a good time to talk Mark into doing it with me. The beginning of a new year seemed as good a time as any. I pulled it out and showed it to Mark. He started laughing. When he stopped laughing and realized I was serious about wanting to do it together, he agreed. I told him I'd read through it first and let him know what all it was going to entail. The next night I read through it in about 45minutes.

I waited a day or so and brought it back up. He didn't seem quite as enthused as I was hoping. I think he was hoping I would have forgotton about it, that it would be one of my resolutions that didn't stick. Boy was he in for a surprise! Not only did it stick, but I had already talked to one of our favorite couples about doing it along side us. The book encourages finding a couple to do the project with in order to help keep each other accountable and to encourage one another.

He finally just came out and said what he must have been thinking all along, "Our marriage doesn't suck!". What?!? He elaborated: These are the kinds of books people need when they need help. We're doing things well. Things are good for us. Our marriage doesn't suck. Why do we need to go through this book?

I told him what the book said. This isn't about fixing a problem. It's about blessing our marriage. This book gives some hands on projects for each of us to do in order to bless one another daily, for 21 days. The author says some couples who've done these projects have started doing things differently. They realized they were putting all their energy and focus into their children or careers and giving the meager leftovers to the spouses. Some realized that they already had some great habits in their marriages and these projects just reinforced those habits.

I will agree with my husband. We've been married 10 years now. We've gone through some good, some bad and some ugly. Right now we're in a place where our marriage doesn't suck! Things are going well. We're in a good place. We work hard to help each other and to let the other know the other is appreciated. I think that's what a good marriage is about, hard work. Taking the time out of our busy days to make sure we make time for each other.

I told Mark I would make it easy for him. I went back through the book and marked the pages that basically described why we should do this, some that described what we would be doing and a couple other parts I knew would help plead my case. He sat down and read them that night, I was impressed! He came back and started talking about some of the projects a little more excitedly. A lot of things that we're supposed to do over the next 21 days, we already do. However, there are a couple things in there that we don't usually do, that he's excited about!

I say all this to let you know we begin our 21 day attempt at purposefully blessing each other on Monday. Every couple of days I'll post what projects we've been doing and how they're going.

Maybe it will give you some new ideas of things to try with your spouse. Maybe you'll just get a chuckle out of how things are going for us. Either way, I look forward to these next few weeks. I'm excited to see what things my hubby and I learn along the way and what adventures we will have as a result of these projects.

Proverbs 31: 11-12
Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.