Accountable Kids

"My dad just writes a list. If we don’t do what it says, he whoops our butts!"

I mentioned in my last blog that we were going to be starting the "Accountable Kids Program". I had some people asking how it was going. I figured I’d explain how it works and recap our last couple of days.

We were at the park over the weekend. I sat at one of the tables and started putting the kids’ new program boards together. Soon there was a group of kids around me asking what I was doing. I explained that we were going to be working harder at our house to be responsible. I said that these boards would help my kids to know what they were supposed to do each day. One little girl pipes up, “My dad just writes a list. If we don’t do what it says, he whoops our butts”! She was so serious, I had to try not to laugh. That’s definitely one way to do it. And honestly, we’ve tried it. We needed something new though. Something different. A fellow MOPS mom introduced me to this program.

Part of the program is introducing family meetings. We had our first family meeting last Sunday. I was a little nervous considering it’s hard to get the kids to sit still for any period of time. They ended up doing really well! We sat them on the couch and told them that we were going to start having family meetings every Sunday evening. For this first meeting we went over the new program with the kids. They were excited to see their new personalized boards. And they listened well to what we had to say.

Basically you do this program in three phases. The first phase is teaching the kids that they need to do things around the house because they’re contributing to our family. They are part of our family and we all have to do our part to help out. We then went over that the things they’re used to doing/getting. (TV time, computer time, playground time) These are all privileges. Privileges must be earned. The chores we picked were things that they are pretty much already doing. This way they're learning to do them consistently and are learning to use their time and privileges wisely.

The program comes with several pre-printed cards. We used a lot and tweaked a few. We added different job descriptions to the photos they had. And printed off photos of our own to use on the blank cards they provide. The photos are all detailed enough that even the boys new what most of them meant. We went over each card though so they would know for sure.

Each morning, afternoon and evening they have a list of things they do. If they complete all their cards (for the specific time frame) they receive 1 ticket. Later they can turn that ticket in for a privileges. We have a list of the privileges printed out a and hung above their boards.

They caught on so quickly! The first morning they were so excited that they all woke up at 6a. I usually wake them by 7a to get ready for school. They came running into my room and said they were ready to start their chores. I told them it was too early and to go watch tv. Alexis said, “mom we can’t!” We don’t have any tickets yet. We have to pay a ticket to watch tv”. Ugh!! I wasn’t expecting this. I am not a morning person. I decided to add a new rule to the program. The program starts at 7a. If you’re up earlier, you’re allowed to have ‘free time’. You can watch tv or play on the computer. But at 7a everything goes off and our day and our chores begin. This has worked well for all of us so far!

They all earned their tickets in the first half hour that first morning. They were completely ready for school by 7:30a. We usually are yelling & running out the door at 7:50. So, as after we said our morning prayer we walked out the door at 7:45 and Alexis said, “I think this is going to be a good day”! They were all so proud of themselves for earning their tickets. It made the morning go so smoothly. They even did stuff they don’t usually do in the morning, like make their beds!

In the afternoon they have homework, a couple more chores & snack time. We usually come in and the boys go straight to the tv. They haven’t even asked this week to watch tv. They go straight to their boards and start on their cards. Then they went and played. Alexis asked to use one of her tickets the first day to play video games during her snack time. She then abruptly changed her mind and said she wanted to save her ticket and play with her brothers instead! They’re enjoying saving their tickets & using them for our park time rather than tv time! We were getting really lazy and letting them watch too much tv. So, this has been a big plus for us.

Another great card included is the “quiet card”. We’ve made our quiet time between 5-5:30. This is our normally crazy time. They’re allowed to read or do puzzles. We’ve done this every other day. It’s worked pretty well. The program suggests they each go to separate rooms. We tried that. The boys cried because they wanted to be together. Now they get one warning. If they’re not playing quietly they have to go to separate rooms. We haven’t had to separate them yet.

Mark came home one day last week and commented on how clean the house looked. It was a good feeling. Mostly because I hadn’t had to follow the kids around all day cleaning to make it happen. They have a clean up cards several times through out the day.

For those using the program already, there were a couple things we noticed right away. We had to have cards for everything. The first day we didn’t have a card for putting away their dishes after they ate. That’s normally just something they do on their own. But, they were so excited to do the cards they left all the dishes and ran straight to the board. We added a "clean up dishes" card after each meal & snack card, haven’t had any more trouble.

We introduced the best behavior card at our first meeting as well. We explained they could earn this card for showing best behavior through the day. They couldn’t ask for a best behavior card. It was something we would surprise them with if we saw them doing something great without being asked.

The first two days Alexis kept doing things and asking for a best behavior card. We would just thank her for whatever she did and remind her best behavior cards couldn’t be asked for.

On Wednesday Michael & Alexis both had rough days. They both ended up loosing all their privilege cards as a result of bad behavior. Gabriel was the only one with cards left. He had been exceptionally good that day. He even asked Mark, on his own, to help take out the recycling. So, that evening we awarded Gabriel the first best behavior card. He was so proud of himself, it was awesome to see! Alexis & Michael were both upset. The next day we noticed they were both better behaved. They didn’t earn a best behavior card. But, we did make sure to acknowledge the good they were doing.

Overall we're really happy with the program. I'm not saying this so that you'll all run out and buy it. I just think some of the principals were really good and maybe you would like to use them as well. For those of you already using the program, I'd love to hear how it's working for your families so far!

We'll have another family meeting Sunday to see how the kids are liking it and to add phase two to the program.

Step Two: The Privilege Pass is introduced to eliminate specific negative behaviors. This process empowers children to predict consequences, follow rules, and redirect themselves towards positive behaviors. A Special Date Card is added to allow children to work for future rewards and enhance parent/child relationships. 

                                                                                 - Accountable Kids Website

Proverbs 31: 27-29
She oversees the care of her house. She is never lazy. Her children say good things about her.
Her husband brags about her and says, “There are many good women, but you are the best.”